karubah

I saw this and just had to post it. It is a video mash up to John Coultron's song "Code Monkey". I really love his lyrics and the work he did for the Orange Box was great. I wish there were more artists getting exposure and releasing their music in video games right now.

Now I don't agree so much with this one because as anyone who knows me knows that I am not an extrovert.

Your True Love Is a Capricorn

Why you'll love a Capricorn: Hard working and driven, a Capricorn will work overtime to win your heart. Be prepared to get wined and dined, even once you're convince that your Capricorn is the one! Why a Capricorn will love you: You don't rush things. You know it will take a while for a Capricorn to trust you, and you can wait. Social and outgoing, you can introduce normally shy Capricorn to a great circle of friends.

I was thinking of doing some more quizzes because they are so much fun, but it is really late now and I have to go to sleep. I have work tomorrow and if I don't get my seven hours in I am a bit of a mess. But I think I will work on a post tomorrow on upcoming video games that are coming out and some new social expression pieces I am going to create. So cheers for now and catch you later.

oh and don't forget to post so I know everyone is still alive.

You Are 30% Extrovert, 70% Introvert

You are quite reserved You aren't afraid of social situations... But you very much prefer to go it alone And why not? You're your own best friend!

You Are a Little Messy

You aren't the cleanest person in the world, but you're definitely not a slob. You clean up when you have the time, but you're realistic about what you can get done. Generally, you're pretty organized and tidy - though you may have a few hidden messes. You eventually get around to making things spotless, but you do it on your own schedule!

You Are Spider-Man

Quick and agile, you have killer instincts (literally). And that kind of makes up for the whole creepy spider thing.

Your Japanese Name Is...

Ronin Yoshida

Well I wanted to post something here for the week, but did not feel creative enough to go into some long creative process for showing something here in my blog. So here are some quizes I took for shits and giggles. Have fun looking at the results and taking the tests yourself. I will check out everyone elses' pages in a few days to see what they got. cheers!

You Will Die at Age 76

You're pretty average when it comes to how you live... And how you'll die as well.

You Are 16% Sociopath

You're empathetic, loyal, and introspective. In other words, there's no way you're a sociopath... but you can spot one pretty easily!

You Belong in 1977

Bold and brash, you take life by the horns. Whether you're partying or protesting, you give it your all!

Your Theme Song is Back in Black by AC/DC

"Back in black, I hit the sack, I've been too long, I'm glad to be back" Things sometimes get really crazy for you, and sometimes you have to get away from all the chaos. But each time you stage your comeback, it's even better than the last!

You Are 85% Real

There's hardly a person on this earth more real than you are. You have no problem showing people who you are, flaws and all. For you, there couldn't be any other way. Because it's way too stressful to live an inauthentic life. You're very comfortable with yourself. And because of this, you're able to live an exciting, interesting, and challenging life.

It is a simple empty warehouse

The only sound is that of the rthymic punching of the heavy bag

He sits down exhausted and picks up a water bottle, taking a deep drink of water

He turns his head to the side, making the joints in his neck crack in succession

Takes off his boxing gloves

Yeah as if it is not obvious I am trying something new heheh. I guess I got tired of the daily ritual of going on to my computer ever day after work to do the same old thing of checking my email, surfing the net, playing a video game, and just otherwise being bored. I need to change! I thought I was going to die for a second there. So

*takes another swig from his water bottle*

I cleaned out part of my office and put in a punching bag. I have to say it is a lot of fun, just gotta remember to keep my hands and wrists straight so I don't end of ruining my hands any more then they are. heh. ooh I look forward to old age and having messed up hands and eyes from all the time I have spent in front of computers. ugh. *roll eyes*

And right now I have to be honest - I miss Nicole. I wish she was around more. Now I have not heard from her in over two weeks and I do not have any idea what is going on. Last I heard from her on her blog was that her family was making more demands on her time and she was going to try more to help. At least that is what I got from her blog, but really I don't. And really I don't know if I should really worry about her. I have had a lot of time lately to think about things and to wonder what I am doing with my time and my life. Right now I know I should focus more on school and work and even though I miss her and stuff I have to recognize that we both have other things we gotta focus on. It is just a tough part of life when you gotta put responsibility ahead of everything else. I just hope that the last time I spoke with her, which was a couple weeks ago, was not the last time we ever speak....but if it was I would want her to know that I care about her and that I know I am not the best at expressing that or really a lot of things which I am working on, but I would want her to know that she has a lot of promise and whatever she applies herself to, she can do it. And I know, heheh, that she kind of obsesses over finding "mister right", but I know a lot of people who do as well and as long as she prepares herself for that day when she meets mister right, whomever that is, I am sure that the part of her that yearns to be with someone and not be alone any more will be contented. I wish I could say the same, but I get the feeling that this part in my life may largely be one were I gotta figure things out for myself. Ya know a lot of people can give you advise about how things should go, but they are not the ones who have to take the path. And there is a difference between knowing the path and following it. Though if anyone did want to help, preferably of the female persuasion, then I would gladly take them along for the ride. I think the flying solo days for me are numbered.

*rubs his chin in thought*

So I guess in total I still sound a bit insecure in my too cruel self assessments, but more secure then I did before.

*does a golf clap*

yay me!


P.S. Read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows

//Spoiler warnings//


Was it just me or was the death count a bit excessive?
Did JK Rowling give more characterization to Harry Potter in this book then any other HP book just to finally flush out the character before the series ended? Bit of a late start dont'cha think?
Also Hermione and Ron kissing now and so late in the final book? Wouldn't you think it would have been better and more realistic if they had been snogging between book 6 and present day and just have Harry walk in on them kissing like mad?

Both mysterious and attractive, you captivate people with the fact that you seem to be good at everything! Spending quiet moments with a friend and talking about what life means to you is your ideal situation. You don't like to stand out very much and you seem to be more old-fashioned than modern, but when you do take the spotlight -- you command the floor!

Which Soul Calibur character are you?

this quiz was made by david park

Well so I got bored and thought it was about time I posted some pics of me. But looking around my office I noted that it is not exactly the best place to have a photo session. So I needed my partner in crime, Rachel the Jack Russell Terrier, to help me out. She was...more then happy to help out. Just check out the pics to see what I mean.




Ed: Thanks for doing this Rachel *smooch*



*Rachel shocked and scandalized*

Rachel: That's sexual harassament!!



Rachel: Oh who am I kidding. Get over here stud.



Rachel: *shocked* Is that camera on?!

Found a nice blog site http://www.xanga.com/RiceBunny for an artist/batman fan/video game fan. makes me want to post more about gaming, which I think I will do in a second post.

I made this post titled look't because for some reason I remembered what little kids say when they see something worthy of notice. Look't sticks out in my mind because it is the typical stupid parent taught crap that they get their kids to say. This makes me think back to all the time my mother worked in home day care and all the work she had to do to make sure the kids did not talk in those cutesy words. I mean kids have it tough enough..why force a speach impedement on them, yeah know? I have no clue why I thought to mention that..maybe it was the Batman and video game stuff. who knows.

*takes a seat at the bar*

sigh.

you know I am getting the impression that I am just not that nice of a guy. not that I am a super jerk or anything, but that maybe I am missing something deep down that prevents me from really connecting with people and understand what they are feeling. like for example at work I have to talk to people all day over the phone and more or less sympathise with them over whatever has happened to their day/computer/whatever. and truth be told I could not give a shit. I think the problem with that is that it is not like they are the first people to give me a call and tell me that they cannot access their email or that they need something done. after the twentieth time who cares? well apparently I am supposed to because one of my bosses keeps coming to me complaining that I sound like I don't care. well I don't. so what do they want me to do? they don't say, but I know they are thinking I should just fake it and get on with the job. like that is any way to run an honest business? lying = success? If I did not need the money and did not think there was a future at the job I would quit over principle. and when they give me a questionnaire asking why I quit I would have to list lack of confidence in leadership on my managers' part, management told me to lie, and so on.

*downs his Killian's*

And you know this is not the only place this problem rears its ugly head. it also came up over the last week or so when I found out about Nicole's mother being in the hospital. now don't get me wrong, I feel bad about what has happened, because no one deserves to go through that. it just that my emotions, my center, feels like it is trapped underneath a glass right now. it is there but not there for me to feel, but I know it is there.

I don't know how I feel about Nicole right now. Or that I should really feel anything. It is no ones fault really but we have drifted apart and are doing our own things. I see now that I need to focus more on my IT studies and branch out creatively into something artistic to take up more of my time. And Nic...I don't know. I do not know anything is all I can say. I guess we are just friends in passing. who knows. that I can honestly say I "feel" bad about right now because we used to be something, something serious TBH. it makes me shake my head some times when I feel down and out and tired, but in reality I know how the chips lie and there is nothing I can do to change that. and it is not like I have tried real hard to find my way beyond that situation. I am like a paper boat in a river that gets tossed and turned and just tries to keep above the waves.

I hope Nic's mother turns out alright. I know she has a long road ahead of her. part of me would like to be there right now to be a comfort...not like I know what words I would say..but I know that is not where I belong. I would feel like such a fifth wheel and it would just make things awkward. pretty sad really.

thinking back to all the things I thought I was..Edward the hero, the silent friend, the secret romantic, the intellectual, whatever. I'm flesh and blood.

but I got a new TV set to replace my old one. The set I had was this small 17 inch model that was starting to have its picture discolor after just two years of use. So after much research and stressing out on financing I got a new one that is much much better.




So before..



and after..


The new screen is great because it not only has a bigger picture, but has a lot of new features I can see myself definitely using in the future. For one it has two HDMI inputs that will allow me to keep up with the HD DVD and Blu-Ray craze once the hi-def format wars have ended. And on that note I cannot believe that with DVDs still being the viable medium for entertainment. I have no idea why anyone would want to move on to another expensive disc format. Have any of you seen Blu-ray and HD DVD movies? To tell you the truth I can hardly tell the difference. You would have to put the regular hi-def and the blu-ray/HD def movie next to each other to show the difference. Just doesn't seem worth it right now.

For whatever reason I feel like talking about things that really grind my gears.

Saturdays Sucking: for some reason lately this day of the week has been a real letdown. Like all day nothing really happens and before you know it, it is over. What's the deal with that? Hey Saturday remember when we used to do fun stuff together like watch good Saturday morning cartoons and not the suck-fest that is being shown right now? Or the times we had together just having fun with friends, going out and doing stuff? Guess not because lately you have been of the suck-age. what's up with that? Did you forget who and what you are or something? Get your act together will ya.

Video gamers being predictable: Now I have to preface this by saying that I have been playing video games for 20 years now and I gotta say I am pretty disappointed at the state of affairs in the gaming industry right now. Playing games as long as I have does not mean that I am some expert at playing games, but it does mean that I have a very thorough understand of gaming cliches. And I must say that I am very surprised at not the game makers for regurgitating the same old slop over and over again, but at the buyers of the games who keep paying for the same games over and over again. For example just recently they showcased the trailer for the fourth Grand Theft Auto game and people are amazed at the level of detail that has been put into it. What disappoints me is that it is obviously the same game as the one that was released some five or more years ago in the form of Grand Theft Auto III. Why the gaming public is unaware is anyone's guess, but it makes me shake my head in pity and disgust that they do not see more clearly that they are about to shell out some hard earned cash for essentially the same game as the last three in the series, which includes San Andreas, Vice City, and the aforementioned GTA3. I guess in all the years I have been playing games my tastes have skewed so far from the main stream that I cannot imagine playing such a game.

Whores: Whores, you apparently are not doing enough whoring because a number of so called celebrities lately have taken up the slack and decided to make whoring a cause. Whatever happened to championing the cause of freeing Tibet or saving the Rainforest is anybody's guess, but right now there are a number of young female celebrities, much like African Americans in the sixties who raised their fist as a sign of protest and power, are raising their ankles behind their heads in their own protest at the lack of promiscuity in Hollywood. As if Hollywood was not dirty and seedy enough as it is. Ladies, and I use that term loosely, ladies you have to see things from my perspective as a member of the general viewing public. Your sending a horrible image to the young women out there who need role models. Now I know your human beings who want to live and work like everybody else, but your also a celebrity and in that role there is this unwritten rule that with all the money you make you cannot do certain things. For one getting caught without underwear, cocaine on your face, or crashing your brand new Ferrari. At the very least let that mooching friend of yours, I'm looking at you Nicole Richie, or that midget dog you keep in your purse take the blame for the crappy driving. Tell the cops your friend's vagina blindsided you and you lost control. They'll believe that. They've watched you on TV.

http://community.livejournal.com/optimus_project/ is this great Russian art sites LJ page about their Optimus keyboard. The ruddy thing costs $1500, but damned if I do not want one :D

I haven't posted on here for a while and with it being post x-mas, I thought it best to do an update before the year runs out.

Now I don't know what it is about the end of the year and reflecting back on what the year has and has not been, but something about the holidays or the onset of winter must bring it about. Whatever the case maybe I have been thinking a lot lately about things lately. Specifically about how things are, how I wish they were, and the part that is giving me a nasty razzie with what is still going on that I hate.

Right now life is in general better then it was on January first of this year. For example I have a new job that pays well and I get to work with people I like and respect. With three classes to go I am doing what I can to get my degree finished by going back to class this spring. Still waiting for my new password to come through the mail so I can sign up for the class, but that is okay because last I saw there was still 16 of 24 spots available so I am not too worried that they will all be filled up by the time I am able to sign up. It is a class about database warehousing that will be interesting because it looks like I will be taking that class with my brother John. Who knows maybe we will do a project together in that class, I think that would be fun. Also I am going to see about getting a new big screen HDTV by this spring or early summer and also putting some extra money towards paying off my car. Course both of those are going to wait until I can secure some more income after classes start and I see whether I will be getting a part time job. So as you can see things are overall good right now.

But..

There are somethings right now that I wish were different and that if they were to happen I think life for me would be better. For one I need to become more tech savvy and overcome my ignorance about computers. It's kind of funny that I went to college to be a computer programmer, but came out a bit of a dunce. Sure I know a good bit about computers, but from working with the guys at my company I can see that I have a ways to go before I can call myself a professional. And it doesn't just have to do with computers but also with analytical thinking and being professional in the work place. Thank God, I have this job to teach me what that is all about and if I am smart and work hard I will be better off in a years time.

..unfortunately I will have to cut this short because looking at the clock right now it is getting late and I have to go to work tomorrow :( they have me helping out the tech support guys over the phone, which I do not care for very much. I can just count myself lucky that it should only go on for this week, next, and maybe the week after that. I really hope, though, that next week is it because I am not a fan of having to answer the phone 40-50 times a day. I am just not a people person and so this job right now is not so much the proverbial cup of tea for me. I will be sure to finish this up tomorrow and hope to hear back from people. I am thinking about telling my brother Matthew about this page and so maybe he will post on here, too.


Check out a Naruto themed tribute video of the Aquabats' song I'm a Winner
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kjJCcB8YsX8

So after much arduous work ;) I finally got the CDs collected and burned the ones I needed to include in Nic's X-mas present. I really had to pick and choose what I sent because not surprisingly there was a lot of stuff that was...I guess good at the time, but has not aged well. Even looking at the note from the original gift package to Nicole from two years ago made me cringe. I mean there is stuff listed on it that I am sending to her that I don't have or don't want to send any more and also the manner I wrote the note led me to roll my eyes. I think I must have been taking a writing class in college at the time because the note was written in a weird formal manner that now really does not make sense. So I will send those off tomorrow, Monday the 27th, and she should have them by the middle of this week.

I also thought about getting Nic something else, but for a couple different reasons I felt like that was not the greatest idea. I figure she is getting all types of good stuff in LA and what ever I sent would just be overlooked, so no big present this time. Though I did spend a couple minutes this weekend looking for the cheapest price for the Slayer edition complete series box set for Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I wish the price was what it is now back about a year ago when I was looking into getting the set. I got really turned off by the price and only had so much money to spend that I just could not fathom spending that type of cash on it. So I think right now the special holiday price with this weird second discount from google.com makes it about 95 bucks, which is great compared to the regular $180 I see at other sites. Right now is just not a good time to be thinking of spending money on other people, or really on myself, when work seems to be a bit in limbo while the holidays are going on, my family in Texas is acting weird and sound like they cannot pay me back the money they promised.

Usually I would do a special Thanksgiving post, but since the holiday was close to a week ago I guess it wasn't so special so here goes..The holiday was alright by all accounts, though I really wish there were a lot more people around to enjoy it with. I just feel kind of let down by the whole affair and almost like it wasn't a really Thanksgiving. Last Wednesday I went to the local Meijer to put my checks in the bank and to do some shopping. While I was picking up all the desserts and cat litter for the cats' cat litter I saw a lot of families around, getting supplies for the next day's festivities. And while they were squabbling with each other I felt bad that I did not have my family around to enjoy it all with. I know John is there for me, but he doesn't really count because we really don't have anything to do with each other even when he is home and not in his room. And I have tried, really tried. to spend time with him, but we seem to be on two far different levels to really connect. On the big day we did not have anyone over except John's friend Randy who stopped by for a few hours. He stayed for a bit after John left, but then made a hasty retreat a little time after that to go to someone else's house for the holiday. I think Randy tried to stay after John left to try and see what was going on with me since we only see each other a couple times a year, but also because he felt a bit sorry for me that I was going to be alone for most of Thanksgiving. I tried to be good company, but I think he felt like he was starting to over stay his welcome and thus said his goodbyes and went home to his parent's house for dinner. Leaving me with only the cats, John's dog, and TV to keep me company.

So I imagine I am pretty depressed right now. But I will get over it once I work things out, which will take some time. I will talk about it here once I have something to say. Also have to post about the Nintendo Wii launch, which is kind of old news now that the system has been out for over a week, the games have been played, and what not. But I think there might be some interesting things I can say, some small pieces of knowledge I can pass along that people could use if or when they are involved in a game console launch event that will keep them safe, sane, and with a few more bucks in their pocket.

Ugh. As if Halloween wasn't scary enough.

Okay so Monday night the guys from work and I went to a local pool bar to celebrate the project and all our success. Well long story short there was a lot of drinking, I had too much, and my night ended with me puking in the parking lot about six or seven times. So all of today I was recovering from having my stomach rung out and learning to work with a hang over. OMG they need to put a surgeon's general warning stating this shit will happen. Good God it hurt like Hell. The other bad part was that everyone else that went came in today all perky and chipper. Fuck those guys! I feel like crap and look pale as a ghost and they get to have a good day?!

Today also was Halloween and I will say I did have enough strength and good cheer to give candy out to trick or treaters. We got just over a dozen this year, which is pretty good considering that there is now a curfew on trick or treating and most people go to parties on this day. We got the usual spread of numerous princesses, pirates, ninjas, and the one kid who came as a ghost and another as his favorite horror monster, Leatherface this time. I just really hope the parents are smart and ration the candy and don't let them just go face first into the candy and gourge(spl?). Which I know is half the fun because I did it every Halloween when I was a kid, but in my experience it just leads to going the wrong way of associating with candy. Candy is like the food equivalent of cigarettes. Sure they seem fine in the short run, but they will cause health problems later on, such as cavities. And boy do I know something about cavities. I have four fillings on my lower row of teeth and about three on the top row. And also Right now I am trying to get health care at work so I can go to the dentist and get two teeth that are hurting me fixed.

oh and with Halloween I forgot to ask what everyone's favorite three horror movies are.
Mine are:
Hellraiser 2
Army of Darkness
Stir of Echoes

Also...

I am soooo glad I went through those CDs I was going to send Nicole. Oh my God, I did not know what was on those disks. The weird - for some reason there were two disks of Austin, Texas vacation pics, which most likely are Suzanne's. Why she put them in there is anyone's guess. The bad - porn, two disks worth to be exact. Now I don't know how or why they got in there but I would feel really bad if I just glibly sent the CDs off and not thought anything about it. I would never be able to live it down in my own mind that that happened. I am a bit of a prick when it comes to perfection(sure about this, but you see my office or bed room and it is another matter, but that is best left for another post.) So right now I need to go through my anime CDs, music, and other stuff to see what in all I should give Nic. Oh and figure out what, if anything else, I send her. With Christmas and Hanukah being around the corner I am tempted to send other stuff, but I just can't make up my mind. Though gladly I am now learning to be more direct in life and want to express how I feel about Nicole(another post!) and everything else life has in store for me.

So that is all for now. I do plan to talk about life with video games, some other small matters, my career, and how people treat me some time soon. I have been really tired lately so I gotta work out why that is and then get back in the groove of things.